The parable of the English language argument
Click these words OR above image for original parable on a dedicated website, along with author’s interpretation
A man named Dennis was working in his office one day, and a co-worker came in with complaints about a memo he had written. She started castigating Dennis about all the grammar mistakes he made, bad prepositional phrases, inappropriate nouns, pronouns, verbs, and verb tenses, adjective and adverb mixups, dangling participles, etc... Dennis got a little upset and said he had been writing in the English language for his whole 50 years of life and knew what he was doing. She angrily demanded he not talk about English because that must be kept in his English school classroom, but this is work and they were talking about work.
Dennis was dumbfounded. He tried to explain how he agreed they were at work, but work deals with English sometimes, the very thing they were arguing about. She screamed that he had to keep his English talk in the classroom and focus on this work issue, the rules of grammar and such. She continued to bash him over the head with grammar rules, but refused to admit they were arguing about the English language.
She huffed and said, "If you want to believe in some sort of English language, that is your choice, but keep it in the classroom! We are dealing with your poor work memo here, vocabulary, breaking of all normal grammar rules and such."
Dennis was getting frustrated at her stupidity, and said, "You believe in the English language too! Can't you see that is what we are talking about? I've studied English in school and university, and spoken and written it for years, and I think I know what I am doing. I have researched the language, in fact, as personal interest, and know the history of the English language, who created it, their thinking process around creating all the rules, etc... I can tell YOU more about English than you want to know!"
She continued to scream that Dennis can't talk about a language called English at work, and called the boss into the room, along with all other workers on the floor, who could hear the loud argument and wanted to know what was going on. The boss and all co-workers also agreed Dennis was not only in the wrong about the poor grammar, but to talk about English at work is despicable and he must keep that shit talk in his classroom.
Dennis refused to talk with any of them anymore about breaking grammar rules, unless they were first willing to admit there was such a thing as the FUCKING ENGLISH LANGUAGE TO START WITH!
The boss got upset at his angry demeanor and Dennis was fired on the spot.